Introductions to Aftercare

If you've spent any amount of time in or around kink spaces, you would have encountered the term Aftercare.

The thing that I find disappointing about the practice of Aftercare, is that it isn't often associated with ordinary sex. Aftercare should not be reserved for kink play or "scenes". Aftercare is INTEGRATION.

Aftercare is the opportunity to reflect on an intimate experience and discuss it with those involved. Our favourite way to initiate Aftercare (following a moment of stillness - allowing everyone to pause, breathe, and cuddle after the sexual flurry) is to ask "what was your favourite bit?"

This little phrase gets our brains reviewing what just happened and finding the most joyous memory. It also helps our partners (and ourselves!) to know what we enjoy most, so we can do more of it in the future!

If there was something in the experience that perhaps you didn't like, or want to give notes on, this often comes up naturally after you've had the opportunity to celebrate the best bits with your partner(s).

"My favourite bit was when you were fucking my face and slapped me. You could do it harder next time. The hair pulling was a bit uncomfortable, maybe grab it from a different spot next time?"

So I encourage you, next time you're intimate with someone, take a moment to celebrate the experience! Share with each other, let them know what was your favourite bit!

Still from "Submission" video, available on OnlyFans