How I keep my sex life private when it’s my job

I probably don’t need to tell you the effect it has on your life when you turn your hobbies into a business. Eroticism is my special interest, it always has been. Exploring it, learning about it, analysing it, and most of all; talking about it with other people.

Making spicy media was such a natural progression for Mart and I, almost inevitable. And it’s thanks to our spicy media that we have the freedom to move to another country and start an exciting new chapter together.

I don’t know if you’ve ever moved countries, but it’s HARD. It’s stressful, and scary, and overwhelming. For the last few months, it’s felt like we’ve been in a fist fight with the universe (and I can’t tell who’s winning…).

You know one of the first things your body shuts down when it goes into survival mode? Arousal.

Think about it, arousal’s predominant purpose is to compel us to mate, to make babies. Your body knows that the responsibility of a baby is too much when you’re struggling just to sustain your own life, let alone a little bean that depends on you.

Bad news for business.

So how do we manage to have a personal sex life, and a professional sex life, when my brain and body isn’t particularly interested in either right now?

Introducing: Maintenance Sex

Now, that might sound very un-sexy, depressing even! But Maintenance Sex is normal, and encouraged, especially in times of either Extreme Destabilization, or the polar Extreme Routine.

Whether you’re deeply embedded in grooves that sex has slowly been phased out of, or you’re so scattered that sex is the last thing on your mind, Maintenance Sex allows you and your partner(s) to come together and maintain the erotic component of your relationship in a low-stakes, sometimes low-effort, and expectation-free way.

For us, our Maintenance Sex has not come from a place of extended dry spells or unresolved tension, but more as an act that brings us together as romantic partners (as opposed to business partners).

There are times where we need to have sex that’s just for us. It might not always be the most passionate, or lengthy, or mind blowing (although sometimes it is!). Sometimes in your relationship, spicy business person or not, there will be moments where you just need to sit on your partner’s dick (if they have one), just to remind each other that you’re in this together.